This article is part of the Fractured Canadian Relationships series.
What if I told you that loneliness is not just a personal problem, but a societal issue that affects us all?
Loneliness and social isolation are pervasive issues affecting Canadians across all age groups. Recent surveys and studies reveal a fractured landscape of relationships, with each generation facing unique challenges. You might be a social butterfly. Perhaps you prefer to keep yourself to yourself. If you’re like me, at times you like to be alone but being alone is not the same as being lonely. Loneliness is an emotion you experience when you feel isolated. When you feel like that, it’s more difficult for you to develop meaningful connections with others.
Researching Canadian sources (not included but I can provide links if you are interested in more content and detail), here’s a snapshot of how Canadians from Generation Alpha to the Silent Generation experience loneliness and disconnectedness, balanced with some causes and experiences. I also include a story made up from some stats to personalize it. So the read isn’t so long, there is a post for each GEN. This final post is longer in that I include both Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation.
Baby Boomers (Ages roughly 60-78, born 1946-1964)
- Statistics: Sheridan Centre for Elder Research found that 36% of Canadian Boomers report feeling lonely at least weekly with rates highest among those recently retired (1 to 5 years). The National Seniors Council research shows that Boomers have significantly fewer regular social contacts outside their own age cohort than in previous generations at the same age.
- Causes: Retirement transitions without clear social role replacements. Adult children often live at greater distances than in previous generations. Declining participation in traditional community groups that anchored previous generations. The digital divide limits connection with the social circles of younger generations.
- Experience: Boomers report feeling “irrelevant,” or “invisible” in communities despite having some time, resources and energy to contribute. They describe struggling to find meaningful volunteer opportunities that utilize the skills and abilities rather than just their time. They express frustration over ageism, stereotypes that diminish their continued need for purpose and growth. Boomers often feel caught between not identifying as seniors but still not having clear alternative social roles.
Retirement: Living the dream. Not!
Through my working years we did what we could to prepare with some investments but at 70, our CPP and OAS along with modest pensions barely cover expenses. With cost increases from food to fuel and countless other demands, there’s nothing left over for any sort of travel. Apart from running errands, much of our days are spent at home. Friends have long moved on to other cities to be close to their children and grandchildren. Our kids and grandkids are doing OK but these are deeply difficult days for them. We do what we can to help but honestly, Barb and I had things easier than they do. Our aim was to help them have a better go at things than we had.
Sometimes Barb scrolls through pictures on her phone and texts friends but if it wasn’t for the grandkids texting or FaceTiming, no one else takes the initiative to touch base. Our life is comfortable enough. We’re not unhappy but we’re not quite sure where we even belong anymore.
Boomer Bill
Silent Generation (Ages roughly 79-96, born 1928-1945
- Statistics: The National Institute on Aging found that 80% of Canadians over 80 experience some degree of social isolation with loneliness rates particularly high among those living alone (67%) or in long-term care facilities (72%). Health Canada Research found that severe loneliness in this age group has a 45% increased risk of mortality – making severe loneliness as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
- Causes: Loss of spouses, siblings, and friends. Health limitations that restrict mobility and independence. Dramatic changes in technology and culture creating barriers with younger generations. Age segregated living arrangements that naturally limit contact mostly with their peers.
- Experience: Many report feeling like they are “living in history” with little opportunity to share their stories and wisdom. Describe the difficulty of needing to receive care but having few opportunities to contribute care to others. They often feel like they have outlived their usefulness despite having valuable perspective to offer. They often express sadness at limited contact with younger family members beyond a visit once in a blue moon.
Silly me! I’m 84 and I just put on my lipstick as I do every morning. Habit, I suppose. My late husband used to say I looked sharp, even to just fetch the mail. Those days are long gone. Living alone in the same house we bought in 1967. The neighborhood has changed a lot. The voices outside are younger and louder and I don’t recognize many faces anymore.
I used to be active in ladies’ groups and in church but since having hip replacements and arthritis in my fingers, I don’t get out much anymore and I can’t figure out those online church services. My children mean well. They are kind and check in by phone and sometimes send pictures of the grandchildren. They are so very busy and I don’t want to be a bother. That is how I was raised; don’t make a fuss and get on with it. I’m not sad, not really. Just quiet. Mostly, I miss being needed.
– Silent Sheila